Stone Crime & Punishment
Where’s the damn fire extinguisher when you need it! Wow. These might be the meanest beers that I have ever come across. I’m not sure what to make of these expensive torture devices that are packaged in wicked looking bottles. Stone caught me off guard with these beers; I was excited to try them, until I did. The Crime is that stone actually bottled this stuff and my Punishment was that I bought two bottles. These beers left me questioning the fortitude of my palate as much as I questioned the psychotic brewery that made them. I like it spicy but no this spicy.
Comparing the heat between these two beers is like eating a ghost pepper and a scotch bonnet pepper and then trying to decide which hurt more. These beers lit me up. Crime was really hot, no question about it. It burned, it made me sweat, and I could breath fire but it wasn’t nearly as hot as Punishment. Smelling the bottle after popping the cap was akin to breathing in a room that has just been freshened up with a few sprays of mace. It had a thick peppery aroma that was complimented by a burning nose and tingly eyes. To be fair there was a bit of sweet bourbon and oak in there somewhere among the forewarning spicy peppery scents. The brews were oaky and rich and seemed to have a lot going on but all that goodness was over shadowed by the devilishly hot peppers. Sipping this beer left me with firey bowels and a hot pepper high like no other. Both beers were aggressivly spicy, like super freaking atomic spicyness. Between five professional beer drinkers we couldn’t finish the two bottles. You’ve been warned, consume this stuff at your own risk.
Burnt Hickory Charred Walls of the Damned – Barrel Aged Belgian Quad
Charred Walls of the Fucking Damned is a bourbon barrel aged monster of a quad. Very few are worthy of desecrating the sanctity of this prestigious beer with their feeble mortal pallets. This beer is so bold, powerful, and fucking tasty that you might regret having drank even a sip because all other beers become inferior by comparison. The brew is 13% abv and there is so much flavor and booze in those bottles that I’m surprised they can even contain the decadent liquid. The nose is full of intense bourbony goodness that will kick your olfactory into overdrive. When this liquid gold hits your taste buds your world will never be the same again. Layers of raisins, spice, figs, vanilla, caramel and oak envelop your palate leaving you dumbfounded at the intensity of the delectable flavors you just experienced. As the beer fades off your pallet flavors of vanilla and bourbon still persist in the finish. This is an amazing world class brew that is not to be underestimated. If this beer happens across your path I implore you to destroy it!
Founders Backwoods Bastard
If there is anyone that I’d want to run into in the depths of a dark scary forest it’d be this bastard. Backwoods Bastard is the last seasonal release of the year from Founders Brewing in Grand Rapids Michigan. This brew is available in November and December each year and is a limited production item that you may not find in every store that carries Founders. Backwoods Bastard is a 10.2% abv Imperial Scotch Ale that is aged in bourbon barrels. This beer is kinda like the big brother to Founders Dirty Bastard Scotch Ale that is available year round.
The experience of this beer starts out strong with huge notes of bourbon, oak, and a touch of smokeyness. The aroma is a nice blend of beer and scotch scents. It has a very potent smell that is not to be missed. This mouthwatering nose gets you prepared for the awesome flavors that your palate is about to experience. Upon sipping the brew you’ll notice flavors of toffee, sweet caramel, vanilla, brown sugar, and bourbon. It has a noticeable amount of booze to it as well. This brew is medium bodied and makes for the perfect sipper. Don’t be afraid to let this beer warm up either as the warmer it gets the more complex and robust the flavors get. I really enjoyed it even more by the end of my glass. This is a bold beer that is not for the faint of heart and it might possibly to much for an un-seasoned palate. If you can find this beer I suggest picking up a four pack and taking your taste buds on a boozy adventure. Oh and make sure to stash a bottle away because it ages wonderfully.